Perpetual Sundays

My cat on August 1st, a few years ago….I think he was trying to tell me something!

August.

Every educator’s least favorite month. 

It is the month that continually reminds teachers that both summer and freedom are over. It is no coincidence that August and anxiety both start with “A.” August 1st feels like the beginning of perpetual Sundays….the time when we feel like we haven’t done enough, we aren’t prepared, we haven’t enjoyed summer to its fullest, and now it is almost over.

When I taught in a public school classroom, I became a different person come August. I used to joke with my other educator friends that my husband likes “July Jenny” way better than “August Jenny.” The second that July was over, I started to think about everything I needed to do before the school year started, and everything I didn’t do that I wanted to over the summer. 

Many August mornings I would wake up with a weight on my chest. I had trouble falling asleep on many August nights. August just plain stunk and it affected my entire family. There is a special place in Heaven for partners of educators….the patience and understanding that they have to set forth come August is truly extraordinary. I see my current educator friends feeling the same way now that the calendar has turned to the last month of summer, and I feel for them.

Only people working in the field of education really understand August anxiety. Many of my friends and family members outside of the classroom often scoffed when I told them how stressed I felt about summer ending. They’d say, “At least you have the summer months off.” I know when I’d complain that I sounded spoiled, so eventually I stopped talking about how I was feeling. So it came out in other ways….

I cried easily.

I didn’t sleep.

I absorbed myself in “to do” lists.

I became irritable.

And the worst part of it all was that come August, I stopped enjoying summer. I tried really hard to tell myself to soak up every last minute. I would schedule fun summer activities with my family, but they felt like they were crammed and if they didn’t go perfectly, they were ruined. 

Some of my friends describe their August anxiety as crippling. I know it isn’t that they don’t want to go back to school. In fact, I can speak for myself when I say it is the exact opposite. I always felt excited about meeting new students. I loved setting up a new classroom! I loved shopping for new classroom supplies. The thought of a new school year wasn’t the issue.

I am going to say this out loud and it might sound crazy….but here goes. Teaching is all consuming. Yes. You heard me. Good teachers live and breathe their job. They don’t close their computers and put it away at the end of the day before they go home. They carry their students, their lessons, and their whole classroom everywhere they go. Why? Because they care…more than anyone understands.

Educators are the most committed people I have ever met! They come into work early almost everyday, well before contracted time, to set up their classroom for the day, make copies, lay out supplies, and answer emails. They spend every free moment that they have while they’re in school creating the best lessons and responding to all their students' needs whenever they can! They stay after school to meet with parents or colleagues, to plan more lessons, and to prepare for the next day. Then they go home at night to answer more emails and correct papers. They sometimes have a hard time falling asleep because they worry about a student or a colleague. 

The job of teaching never ends. It is rewarding but at the same time exhausting. It takes a village to raise children….and teachers are part of everyone’s village in the neighborhood. They spend more time with children than most of their families get in a work week. They know perfectly well how important their role in a child’s life is. This is a lot of pressure for one human being!

The statistics are staggering. According to Pew Research Center, 77% of teachers say their job is stressful. 68% say it is overwhelming. Many teachers report that students are not motivated to learn….that students are distracted by their cell phones and other electronics. They also report that students (and sometimes parents) are often disrespectful. A majority of teachers report that they have been verbally abused by their students and/or parents. And many also report that the current discipline practices at their school are very or somewhat mild. With all of this, plus student poverty, chronic absenteeism, student anxiety and depression, on top of the pressure to perform, it is no wonder that teachers feel this way. This is just too much pressure!

And unfortunately, all of this pressure is at the expense of teachers and their families. It affects everyone’s health and wellbeing. Teachers give so much to 25+ humans a day and when they go home they have very little to give themselves or their families. 

This is why August hits educators like a ton of bricks. August means that in a few short weeks, the pressure will be back on. The job will consume them and their families again.

This pressure makes it hard to breathe. It makes it hard to sleep. And all the symptoms of anxiety completely kick in. 

I used to try to tell those that don’t work in the field of education that every new school year is like starting a new job…..there are unknowns, the expectations will be different, and new players will enter the game. The analogy of a new job every year is mild, I know. But it is the only way I know how to explain it.

So what I’m trying to say to all my educator friends is….I feel you. I get it. And your feelings are justified.

August is hard.

But here is my question…..is this how you want to show up for your students? Is this how you want to show up for your family? And more importantly, is this how you want to show up for yourself?

I am guessing the answer is no, hence the anxious feelings.

It is time to change the August narrative. August doesn’t have to be the end of the feelings of less pressure and freedom from the summer. We are in charge of how we feel and a calendar flip shouldn’t be given that kind of power.

First, it is important to acknowledge the feelings of going back to school….stress, worry, anxiety, and whatever else is swirling around. Write it down, say it out loud. You have to name it to tame it.

Next, write down every worry in your mind about the upcoming school year. I used to worry that I’d have a tough student. I’d worry that I wouldn’t have time to do the things I enjoy. I’d worry that something was going to go terribly wrong. Whatever it is, note it and then go through the list. Are there some worries that are far-fetched? Cross them off. Are there some worries that you can run through the worst and best case scenarios of? Tweak them if possible.

Then, make a list of all the things you do in the summer that you want to keep doing throughout the school year. For example, in summertime I liked that I had time to exercise more. I liked that I got a pedicure every few weeks. I liked that I had more date nights with my husband. Pick a few non-negotiables on the list that are possible to continue doing throughout the school year and make a promise to stick to them. 

Finally, use these non-negotiable things as a way to set boundaries. Maybe this upcoming school year you go into school early but then leave at the end of the day. Maybe you set a time limit on how late you’ll grade papers in the evening. Perhaps you’ll make a promise to yourself to NOT check emails outside of school hours. Whatever it is, set boundaries, write them down, and stick to them.

It is possible to hold onto a few feelings from the summer despite the fact that a new, all consuming school year is coming soon. But we don’t have to let a new school year consume us! 

Remember, we are in charge….not the calendar!

Teachers work hard. They deserve their summers. They deserve the time in July and August to spend with their families and on themselves. Teachers….it is time to take the second half of your summer BACK!