Kickboxing Is My Anger Management
Exercise is a tool for me that I use daily. As many of you know, I like to run. My knees don’t always like it, but it is a tool to help me with a number of things in life. First off, it helps me with connection. I have two friends that I run with regularly. At 5:15am, we decorate ourselves like Christmas trees, with lights and reflectors, and meet out on the street to hit the pavement. The fresh (and sometimes downright cold) air in my lungs, combined with the movement, start my day off right. Not only is running a tool to connect me with friends, but it is a stress relief. On days that I meet my friends for a run, my head is clear and I feel like I can take on anything that comes my way. Running brings me patience, which as a teacher and mom, I desperately need!
I also like to lift weights. This is a new exercise for me that I have only really discovered recently. This is a tool to not only keep me strong but to help me lose weight. In the last 8 months or so since I have adopted three or four days a week of lifting weights, I have lost almost 30 pounds. This is an incredible tool for my physical health and we all know the powerful connection between physical and mental wellbeing.
Yoga is a grounding tool for me. This regular movement gives me the ability to connect with myself and find my peace. Without this tool, I wouldn’t be able to lead my students from a place of calm. Connecting my breath with movement helps me to get into my own head and body, checking out from the constant stress of the outside world. I am able to leave everything that I experienced throughout the day outside of the room, get on my mat, and focus on myself.
As a Social-Emotional Learning coach, I work with kids, their families, and teachers on handling all emotions that come our way as humans. I am always modeling breathwork and meditation and I wonder if my clients know that I am not always the calm and peaceful person they see in our sessions every week. Sometimes, I struggle with big and unpleasant emotions and there isn’t enough running, weight lifting, or yoga to manage it.
Which is why I started kickboxing.
You heard me right….I wrap my hands, strap on some gloves, turn on ridiculously loud music, and kick the heck out of my anger of the moment. And let me tell you, these days, I’ve been pretty angry.
I am angry at politics.
I am angry that our country doesn’t have better gun laws.
I am angry at the hatred and the fighting happening in our world today.
I am angry at the guy that gave me the finger on the highway the other day.
I am angry at the receptionist at the dentist office that called me “m’aam” and “sweetie” in a really condescending way.
I am angry that my Jewish friends are afraid to worship at their temple or send their children to Hebrew School right now.
I am angry that I ran over a screw and gave myself a flat tire.
I am angry that my kids and their classmates have to practice lock-down drills at school because of fear of an attack.
I am angry that I went out to lunch with friends yesterday and it took close to an hour to get our food delivered to the table.
I am angry that I can’t turn on the news without hearing about someone being killed, shot, tortured, or abused.
I am angry at the state of our mental health care system.
I am angry that there are people out there that don’t believe in global warming.
I am angry that the grocery store messed up my “Drive Up and Go” order.
I am just plain angry sometimes….and that’s OK.
That’s why I kickbox. As soon as the music starts to blare, I throw some punches and I throw them hard. I kick the bag and find satisfaction in the sound of my foot making contact. I sweat. I swear loudly because no one can hear me over the music anyway. I literally pay someone to let me hurt the poor bag that is taking a beating for all the anger that I have pent up inside of me.
I think if my students and their families came to watch me kickbox, they wouldn’t recognize me. I am always surprising my kids’ friends when they see my gloves in the back seat of my car. To me, I find that a good thing! Because without kickboxing, I wouldn’t have a tool to get it all out. I would hate to think of where my anger would be released. When I get on the kickboxing mat, I can have an imaginary brawl with whatever and whoever is pissing me off at the moment. After about an hour, when I am sweaty and spent, I go home, take a shower and feel a bit lighter. My anger has been released and I can find space for the emotions I find much more pleasant.
Like Rocky Balboa so famously said,
“It ain’t about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
You see, all the things that make me angry are life’s punches that keep getting thrown at me. Some of those punches hit me hard. But having a tool to release the emotion that comes with those punches helps me to move forward. And I am able to move forward to a place where I can lead, help others, and share love. In other words, kickboxing helps me be the teacher, the parent, and the person that most people recongize….the calm, loving, peaceful me instead of the kickboxing lunatic working out to inappropriately loud music.
And the bonus? All this exercise is not only a tool to help me manage emotion. It gives me mad muscles, which makes me feel strong. And I like that!
