I know I am a fortunate human being! I have an amazing family and a great group of friends. I have an extraordinary village of people around me that pick me up when I’m down, inspire me, and show me more love and care than I sometimes deserve. I am realizing as I get older that everyone is dealing with something. Some things are really big and others are small and trivial. And these things ebb and flow as life continues to go on around us. If we didn’t have each other to bounce ideas off of, laugh with, and vent to, I am not sure any of us would make it through this conflicted world. We need other humans in our lives.

The problem is, many of us don’t really like to talk about how we truly feel. And sometimes it feels uncomfortable when someone shares their big feelings. Writing these stories of small moments in my life and expressing my feelings and emotions about it all is not easy. At times, it can feel embarrassing, shameful, and sometimes downright raw to put it all on paper. However, I chose to write all these stories with educators, parents, and caregivers in mind, to get the narrative started among all of us.....

It takes a special person to be a teacher. I have never held another profession so I can’t compare, but I am pretty certain that it is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. 

Research shows that the average human makes 35,000 decisions a day. Most of these decisions are small and we may not even notice we’re making them. We may make decisions about which direction to turn when you’re driving, what shoes to wear, what to eat for breakfast…..so many decisions! 

Research shows that teachers make 1,500 educational decisions a day….that’s on top of the 35,000 decisions they make for themselves as the average human. If you do the math on that one, they are making about 4 educational decisions a minute in a six-hour work day (and we know their day is waaayyy more than 6 hours!). It has been noted that teachers make more decisions a day than other professionals, second to air-traffic controllers, which is also noted to be the #1 most stressful job.

Decision fatigue much?

So yeah….when I put all of that down on paper, it is no wonder I feel like teaching can be a very challenging job. However, I also believe that educators are doing the most important work on the planet....

I’ve always had an interest in mindfulness and mental health. I don’t remember where this interest came from or too many early experiences with mindfulness beyond my yoga classes. But, I do remember the first time I meditated….

I was in a high school social studies class and we were studying Eastern Culture. Our teacher had us all lay down on the floor, close our eyes, and listen to him as he guided us through breathing and visualization. I remember when it was over, he asked how we felt and I expressed how relaxed and calm I was….the most I’ve ever felt that way all through my high school career. He responded to me with a giant grin on his face and said, “I know! Isn’t it amazing?”

I had no idea at the time how amazing meditation, mindfulness, and breathing would be for me in the future…..

Ever since I took my first RULER course with Marc Brackett at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, I really felt inspired to become what he calls, “an emotion scientist.” I have been tasked to work on increasing my emotion vocabulary and to really get curious about what I am feeling and why. I have worked with countless students, families, and educators about noticing the emotions they feel everyday.

It sounds like a no-brainer, but I have learned and experienced that there are emotions behind everything in life. Our feelings drive things like motivation and decisions….you name it, there’s an emotion there! Being an emotional scientist means that I try to look at my emotions as a guide towards the best responses for getting what I need.

The hardest part for most people, including myself, is recognizing that the things I tell myself and the actions that I take, those that serve me and those that don’t, usually happen because I am feeling something big. I can be so disassociated that sometimes I am too knee deep in the negative self-talk or poor choices to see that there’s several emotions swirling around inside of me..

I think most of us can say that we didn’t grow up at a time when we learned how to understand emotions. My teachers didn’t sit me down in elementary school and ask me how I was feeling. I didn’t label my feelings on a mood meter. I wasn’t taught tools to help me regulate my emotions. Sometimes I had to figure it out on my own and, many times, the “tools” I created for myself weren’t all that helpful. Othertimes, I had no idea what to do with everything that was going on inside of me. I chose actions, some helpful and some not, based on what made me feel the safest. But the craziest part for me to explain to others is that even though I teach this stuff, I still make mistakes and I am not perfect.

Let me give you an example….

I made it my mission this year to work on my health and fitness….

At the start of the summer in 2022, I left my job as a public school teacher. I’m finally ready to share my story about why I made this choice. I probably should have written this as my first blog post in September, but I don’t think I was ready yet. Now I am, so here goes….

I swear I’m not a crazy cat lady. Just hear me out…..

I’m not used to having a cat as a pet. I grew up with a dog and even adopted my own pup my junior year of college. When I married my husband, our dogs became automatic siblings. Before we had two kids, we had two crazy dogs together. The similarities between pet-parenting and child rearing can be insanely similar, but I’ll save those stories for another day. When our dogs passed away, I always thought we’d get another one sometime in the future.

But then Ella, our 11-year-old daughter, was born. From the moment she came into this world, she was afraid of dogs. As an infant, we would take her for a walk in her stroller and if a dog came near, she would scream bloody murder. When she got older, I watched her shake and sweat when a dog headed Ella’s way. The poor thing was scared out of her mind and I knew there was no way we could bring a dog into our house.

The summer before Ella entered Kindergarten, we decided to get a cat. The kids and I did some research and went to visit a few different kittens before we met our future feline family member. Enter Tiller…an orange tabby cat with the most mellow personality I have ever had in a pet.

On October 5th, I turned 46.

A lot of people in their forties and beyond that I talk to don’t want to celebrate their birthdays. Me? Of course I want to celebrate!

In all honesty, I’ll celebrate anything. I’ll celebrate getting out the door on time on a Monday morning. I’ll celebrate the C that one of my kids worked their tails off to earn in their hardest class. I’ll most certainly celebrate any occasion with anyone and I’ll always find a good reason.

I think most people my age don’t want to celebrate getting older. It is funny how that shifts from when we were kids. We couldn’t wait to get older and hit the milestones….13, sweet 16, 18, 21!

Do you remember what age you stopped counting?

Welcome to The Calm Blog! I am a former teacher turned SEL coach who is devoted to inspiring children and caregivers through the power of Social-Emotional Learning.