Slowing Down, Not Speeding Up

A photo I took of the sunrise in my neighborhood. I took it to remind myself that when I slow down, I am able to enjoy the moment a lot more.

The other day I went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. The woman behind the counter looked very harried. She was moving around her space at a high rate of speed. Her eyes were wide open like she was really feeling the pressure. She asked me to wait a few moments while she finished something. Feeling her stress, I told her not to worry….that I would sit down until she was ready and to take her time.

When she was done, she called me back to the counter, thanked me for giving her time, and apologized that I had to wait. I told her there was no need to say sorry! She was busy and I understood. Then we did what friendly strangers do….we talked about the weather.

It has been really humid here lately but this day felt like things were finally drying out a bit. It was a truly gorgeous afternoon! A perfect 10 of a day! While we were discussing this, I told her that I planned to just stop everything I was doing later this afternoon so I could get out and enjoy it. Her response was, “I wish the whole world would just stop for one day so I could enjoy it, too!”

I made a joke about how everything shuts down around here when we get snow….why can’t we get a day off when it is so beautiful out, too? Wouldn’t that be nice if the whole world could stop like that?

We both agreed yes….if we ruled the world, we would slow everyone down rather than speed them up! Because here’s the thing….we live in a really fast-paced world. It seems that most of us equate success with how fast and how much we are able to accomplish. But at what cost? If that woman continues at that pace everyday all week long at work, she is going to burn out! 

It seems to me that the happiest people I know are those with the knowledge that slowing down is where you find happiness. That it isn’t the hamster wheel of perpetual proving, busy-ness, and worth-seeking that our society tends to find itself. Speed and pressure just isn’t sustainable for any human being on this earth!

When I say “slow down,” I don’t necessarily mean stop. The imaginary world of our governor calling a day off and requesting we all stay home because the weather is just too gorgeous out, isn’t realistic. 

But….let’s go back to the pandemic for a sec….that was a time when the whole world truly did completely shut down. Everything stopped. And that was stressful. But there was a weird little part of me that was happy to not have to run my kids around to a thousand different places in several different directions. Suddenly we were eating more dinners together as a family and watching movies together. We had more time to just be. And that was wonderful! I remember saying out loud to my husband, “When this is over, I think I want to keep the slower pace that we find ourselves in right now.”

But here we are.

Back at full speed.

Riding the hampster wheel.

And wishing we could slow down!

But do we have to wish? Why can’t we just do it? Why is choosing to slow down, enjoy time together with the people you love, and reduce our stress so impossible? Because we live in a time when feeling stressed and being busy is expected and respected.

But we can change that.

I know that sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but we have choices about how we spend our time. Maybe we don’t sign our kids up for every activity they want to do. Maybe we prioritize our task list so that we do what we can manage in the time that we have. Perhaps we ask for help so that we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. And perhaps we start using the word “no” a little more often to create boundaries between what we want to do and what is asked of us.

This visit to my local pharmacy got me thinking….how can I create my own snow day? How can I create time where I slow down, take care of myself, and be with my friends and family? 

So I took out my calendar and started to make space….space for the things that fill me up….space for the people I love….and space for me. 

Watching the woman behind the counter at the pharmacy, I could see how depleted she was feeling. Her cup was empty and she was exhausted. I thought about the people at home that would be counting on her when she returned from work….would she have anything left to give them? Probably not….

How we show up for others is a direct reflection of how we show up for ourselves. If we don’t slow down and take care of our basic needs, how can we do that for others? The answer is simple. We can’t. 

The more that I think about it, the more I realize that we have no choice but to slow down. Something has to give or we aren’t going to make it. 

So where do we start? I am beginning by thinking about what my time means to me. Me-time is valuable….without it I can’t recharge. And time with my loved ones is valuable….catching up, listening to their stories, and having experiences builds my connection to them. 

Work time? I can’t say it isn’t valuable…..it is how I support my family. But I will say that there is no job that is worth my health and the health of my relationships.

And the time I spend hustling and bustling? That just seems like wasted energy. I can definitely prioritize my time so that I’m not always rushing my life away. 

So my time is worth something to me. And it is worth a lot. That focus will center me next time I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I need to be in tune with my body when I am in stress-mode. When I feel my heart racing, my muscles tensing, and my eyes popping then I know it is time to put a hard stop to whatever I am doing….take a few breaths….and re-evaluate what I am doing with my valuable time.

Slowing down means I can enjoy the moment.

Slowing down means I can be more productive.

Slowing down means I can better show up for myself and others.

Can I say the same about speeding up? Not a chance….