My Beginner’s Mind
About three years ago, I began a meditation practice. I learned to meditate twice a day, on my own (without guidance) for 20 minutes at each sitting. This practice has opened up a world that I didn’t realize existed. But more excitingly, it has connected me to a new group of friends.
For a few years now, every morning and every afternoon, when I am done meditating, I text a group of women with a short message to confirm I completed a sitting. These women are named Maggie, Catherine, Allison, and Lisa. Our text chain is called “Supermeditators,” which I absolutely adore!
We met in New York City at Emily Fletcher’s “Ziva Live” course. I had no idea how much this short weekend would impact my life. Since we left NYC, the five of us have become “accoutability partners” for one another to help each other stick to our meditation practice. But there is more to our relationship than that. We also check in on each other regularly. It is through these check-ins that I receive the wisdom and ideas of these four amazing and smart women.
Their latest wisdom is the inspiration behind writing this particular blog entry. A few days ago over text, we were lamenting about how challenging it can be to stick to this meditation practice. A few shared that they had recently fallen out of regular practice, but are getting back into it. Lisa, also a yoga instructor, shared her knowledge with us about something she called “a beginner’s mind.” I have heard this term in my yoga and meditation classes so this wasn’t the first time it piqued my curiosity. I decided to do some research that I want to share with you.
A beginner’s mind is also referred to as “Shoshin.” This is a term from Zen Buddhist teachings referring to the act of having an open mind, letting go of all preconceived notions, and looking at every aspect of life from a fresh and new perspective. It was brought to the west in the writings and speeches of the Japanese Zen Master, Shunryu Suzuki. He says,
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few.”
In her text, Lisa was reminding us about the practice of meditation. She shared her gratitude in finding this group of women. She pointed out the beauty in the fact that we give each other permission to keep coming back and beginning again, in the meditation practice and with one another. That’s when she mentioned what she knows about the beginner’s mind. In her words, she explained that this means, accepting what is, being open to what comes, without self-judgement or expectation.
Suzuki suggests that having an open “beginner’s” mind can have many benefits to our lives such as fostering new skills, better decision making, and greater empathy. Dismissing expectations is a vital practice of life!
Reading Lisa’s text about the beginner’s mind made me reflect on how I’ve been struggling against being a beginner my whole life! It sounds so easy to live in a world where we dismiss expectations and approach life with a beginner’s mind. One major obstacle however, is something called “confirmation bias.” This is the human tendency to notice, focus on, and give credit to evidence that fits with our existing beliefs.
I will admit that I have an existing belief that I firmly stand by. Those of you that know me well can confirm that I believe that HARD WORK = SUCCESS. The friction in this existing and somewhat limiting belief occurs when I see a slump in my progress, and this has been happening my whole life.
As a kid in school, when I saw my grades drop, I would put in extra time studying and practicing my skills. Often, I would work to the point of exhaustion! I got good grades in school but I never truly enjoyed being a student. I was so focused on my grades, that I didn’t always spend the time enjoying the new books I was reading or the new concepts I was learning.
When I got older I decided I needed to focus on prioritizing my physical health so I joined a weight loss program. When I saw a slump in my weight loss, I would become really strict with myself, writing down everything that I ate and depriving myself of the things I enjoyed eating. Then I struggled to figure out why I could lose the weight, but not keep it off.
As a teacher, I was very reliant on data about my students. I set goals for my students to achieve certain scores. In fact, many of our assessment programs projected future scores for students, based on their previous growth. When I saw a drop in those scores or if a student didn’t meet their projected goal, I would catch myself thinking, “I am not working hard enough.” I would begin to hustle, working late to create interventions to help those students achieve. I lost sleep, getting caught in ruminating thoughts about how my students’ grades were a reflection on my effectiveness as a teacher.
There is no doubt that you have to put work into reaching your goals. I still believe that there is a link between working hard and success. But now I understand that when I didn’t activate my beginner’s mind when my grades dropped, my weight plateaued, or student scores stagnated, I lost the opportunity to look at all the possibilities behind these slumps in success. I became narrow-minded, working myself (and those around me) harder rather than smarter.
The key word in this realization about myself is POSSIBILITES!!
There are so many possibilities in life and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on them! Without possibilities the world would be very small. There wouldn’t be new things to learn, new people to help you grow, or new ideas to try out! It is kind of funny to think about it this way, but we are ALL beginners at life - no one has done this before! As Lisa reminded me, the hard parts in life are there so we can grow, learn and become stronger. Being a beginner can be scary, but it is also wildly exciting. Anything can happen!
So here I am, sitting here with my beginner’s mind during this new phase of my teaching practice. Even though I have been an educator for over 20 years, this is a new realm for me and I don’t have the slightest idea what I am doing. And you know what? That’s OK! It is boring to already have it figured out. There’s nothing to achieve! It is such a relief that I don’t have to be perfectly perfect all the time, always acting like I have it all together.
Just like my meditation, this is a practice….a life long practice. I’m on this journey like everyone else. I am relieved and happy to admit that I am multiple lifetimes away from being an expert at anything.
I am thankful to say that I think this means my world won’t be shrinking to few possibilities anytime soon.
