Emerging From My Hibernation

It is around this time of year that I feel like a bear coming out of hibernation. I mean….humans can’t actually hibernate, but in the coldest months of the year, I am drawn toward something like it. After the holidays and into January until the first signs of spring, I want to batten down the hatches from the harsh weather outside and preserve my energy. I want to skip going out for my errands and begin to drag my heels on taking the outdoor walks that I know are good for me. And social interactions feel like an imposition. I do everything I can to resist the urge to pull my comforter over my head and hide. 

Is it such a bad thing to desire hibernation until spring? 

At the very least, it does feel like a natural response to slow down in these colder months. While I enjoy the solitude and reflection that the winter season can bring, I can’t wait for the sun to shine longer throughout the day, for the grass to turn green, for the birds to sing loudly, and to soak up the warm, fresh air! 

Last Sunday afternoon brought me out of my winter slumber. I woke up in the morning to the sound of several birds chirping in my yard and was pleasantly surprised to see blue sky and sunshine. The thermometer outside my house read close to 55 degrees, which is practically a heat wave this time of year! I couldn’t wait to get out for a walk! This was a nice change to the reframing and pleading I’ve had to do in my head all winter long just to get myself outside for a walk .

That morning, I couldn’t lace my sneakers fast enough! I turned on my Spotify playlist and put it on shuffle. Ironically, the song Sunshine by Caroline Jones was the first song that began to play as I took my first steps. She sang….

There may be gray skies

But when it rains I can feel the sunshine

I feel the sunshine

And that which I feel

I know to be real

The vision I hold when winter's so cold

I can feel the sunshine

It had to have been fate that this song began to play because finally the gray skies were clearing and I was ready to soak up some sun! If there weren’t people around me and I wasn’t risking embarrassing myself, I would have danced on the sidewalk because being out in the almost-spring weather felt so incredibly pleasant! I saw crocus and tulips poking out of lawns that I passed. There were kids with their families on our local beach playing with pails and shovels. Friends gathered on benches to sit, chat, and enjoy a coffee together outside. The townspeople were emerging! It felt like I wasn’t the only one coming out of hibernation at that moment! And my entire mood….my entire being….changed with that small dose of Vitamin D I gave myself that afternoon.

If it wasn’t for the winter season, I don’t think I would appreciate the sunshine and warm weather as much. I lived in Southern California for a brief time back in my 20’s, so I know that feeling the change of seasons and “wintering” isn’t a universal human experience. While living in the land of sunshine and beaches for that brief period of time, I definitely took the warm weather for granted. But as a true New Englander, I recognize that the seasons are nature’s way of reminding me that I have to go through the dark, cold days in order to truly enjoy and relish in all that spring and summer can bring to me. 

This is a great metaphor for my emotions, as well! I often teach my students that emotions and feelings are like waves on the ocean…..

When we find a pleasant wave, we enjoy and “surf” it!

When we find an unpleasant wave, we brace ourselves and duck dive under it.

When a wave knocks us down, it is OK to get back up and try again.

Just like waves on the ocean, our feelings will come and go. They are not permanent. It is how we move with them that matters.

But after Sunday’s walk, I am seeing that it is important to see emotions like the seasons. For example…..

We will have dark days and bright days but no matter what, the seasons will change.

…..there are dark emotions and bright emotions that aren’t permanent, either.

In the winter we have tools to keep us warm…..blankets, jackets, hats, mittens, and fireplaces. In the summer, we have tools to keep us cool….sprinklers, lemonade, ice cubes, and air conditioning. We can use these tools to help us feel more pleasant until these days pass.

….we have to regulate our emotions, too! The tools we choose to use don’t take the emotions away, they just make life more tolerable until we move through those feelings.

Depending on the season, we notice the sensations in our bodies (goosebumps, sweat, shivers) to decide which tool to use to make us more comfortable.

….our emotions also change sensations in our bodies (heart beats faster, tense muscles, breathing changes). Noticing them will help us label the emotion and decide which tools we need to move through the feeling.

And sometimes we may forget our tools (like our jackets or the right shoes) but we still manage to get through the unpleasant sensations this may bring us. And next time, we won’t forget!

…..sometimes we make mistakes and forget to use our tools for regulating our emotions, too. This can result in an inappropriate reaction to an emotion. But that is OK….there are ways to move on and learn from those mistakes.

There is no bad or good season…..they are simply seasons that sometimes feel pleasant or unpleasant to us. And everyone has their own preference to what climate they’d like to spend more time in!

……there are no good or bad emotions, either! It isn’t bad to be angry or good to be happy. It is simply pleasant or unpleasant and we have choices on how we want to respond to these emotions.

There is a purpose behind each change of season! If we didn’t have the change of seasons, there wouldn’t be new life.

……there is a purpose behind the change in our emotions, as well! If we didn’t have different emotions, we wouldn’t learn and grow!

Maybe your favorite season is winter with fresh powder and cold mountain air for skiing. Or maybe it is the summertime with warm sunshine on your skin and refreshing water for swimming. It could also be something in between! No matter what, the next time you relish in it, remind yourself that you would never truly enjoy that feeling if you didn’t feel the opposite. 

Although winter isn’t my favorite season, I have learned to live with it and relish in the rest and relaxation that it can bring me if I let it. Eventhough I want to jump on the first plane to warmer weather, I have learned not to avoid the colder temperatures. I’ve learned to find things in those cold days that make it more tolerable. 

It is important to do the same thing with the unpleasant emotions that all humans feel from time to time. Winter may make me feel like I want to go into hibernation, pulling my comforter over my head and shutting out the world. But, I try really hard not to do that. Avoiding my unpleasant emotions won’t make them go away….just like hibernating won’t stop the cold weather from coming. I know that feeling all the feels is an important part of the human experience. As author Dave Matthes says, 

“Embrace all emotions: sadness, happiness, sorrow, hate, love, predjudice, fear; they are all weapons against our greatest enemy: indifference.”

So while hibernating and finding time to slow down in the colder months isn’t a bad thing, I have to be careful that I don’t miss out on some seasonal fun….and there is some if I look for it. Otherwise, I risk becoming detached from all the abundance that the seasons (and my emotions) can bring me.