Far (but not so distant) Friends

Have you ever truly thought about what friendship means to you? What do you look for in a friend? What makes someone worth keeping in your inner circle?

Loyalty

Love

Understanding

Acceptance

Patience

…..more?

Friendship, like every relationship, is a two-way street. Friends care about each other, support one another, and accept each other’s differences. Friends enjoy spending time together and bring out the very best in each other. We miss friends when they are gone. And you get excited to see them when they return. 

There are very few people in my life that I can remember meeting for the first time. My friend Suzi is one of them. About 3 years ago we moved to New Zealand. My husband was working there, my kids got to attend school, and I took a year off from my teaching position so I got to be solely a mom, exploring a foreign country with my family. We moved during the COVID years so we spent 2 weeks in managed isolation before we could acclimate into the Kiwi world. 

We had just gotten out of isolation and were seeing our neighborhood and home for the first time and we met our real estate agent at the house we decided to rent for the year. We were just getting a tour and unpacking our things when I heard a voice coming from the front door. I went to see who it was and a woman was standing there with her cute little black dog. Little did I know that this woman would become a close friend….our families would enjoy time together and I would fall in love with her dog, Charlie.

This woman introduced herself as “Suzi” and immediately I recognized her American accent with a tiny Kiwi twang. She explained that she was from Pennsylvania but was living with her husband and children (all Kiwi) in New Zealand. I knew right away that we were going to hit it off.

The entire year that I lived in New Zealand, Suzi lived next door to me. We talked everyday, walked and attended a yoga class regularly, and supported each other through occasional COVID lockdowns. My favorite memories were with her out in front of our houses with a glass of wine, sitting socially distanced in our lawn chairs and chatting until the sun went down.

Suzi introduced me to her friends. She made cupcakes with my daughter on her birthday. She had her kids babysit mine so that Andrew and I could go out together. She came to our Halloween party dressed as a cupcake. She hosted a gingerbread house making workshop for my kids and their friends over the holidays. And she gave me advice, recommendations for things to do while we were living there, and became my closest friend in New Zealand.

I knew when I left that Suzi was going to be the person that I would miss the most. She drove us to the airport the day we moved home. And I teared up at having to say goodbye to her. I had no idea when I would see her again, but we promised each other that we would stay in touch and visit each other when we could.

Staying in touch with someone on the other side of the world and a day ahead of you is next to impossible. But Suzi and I make it happen like champs! It is amazing that she is able to be so close to me even though she is thousands of miles from my presence. Thank goodness for WhatsApp! We can text each other, call, and facetime regularly. And I look forward to each and every conversation that usually turns into over an hour of gabbing and catching up everytime! 

This Christmas, Suzi’s husband reached out to me and asked if I would be around to have a visit with her this summer. He planned to get her a gift to come home to the USA, tour New York City, visit her family, and have some fun with me. This felt like a Christmas present for me, as well! I couldn’t wait and immediately began planning our short time together.

When she arrived this week, I was busting out of my skin with excitement. I couldn’t wait to give her a hug and welcome her into my home. I couldn’t wait to see how much her kids had grown and for her to see the same in my children. And what a week it was! We jammed a lot into the four days we spent together…..a trip to Boston, a tour in Newport, a few trips out on the boat for a motor and a sail! It was incredible! And it didn’t feel like I hadn’t seen her in three years. We picked up right where we left off….pure joy and fun! Just like friends should be!

Sometimes it feels like Suzi and I have been friends since childhood. It is crazy how sometimes you just ‘click’ with others….like we were meant to find each other and make a connection. I can’t express how grateful I am for her friendship….it is a rare friendship that can sustain such a distance, with only monthly communication, and pick up right where it left off.

Having Suzi and her kids visit this week was a gift. There was no awkwardness, no gaps in conversation to fill…..we carried on together like we were never apart. And to me, that is a true friend. 

I don’t know when we will see each other again but I know one thing for certain….there will be a next time. I am not-so-secretly hoping our reunion will be in New Zealand again….I love that place and I certainly left a piece of my heart there when I came back to the states. But I know Suzi is holding on to it and guarding it well. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for our friendship….it is going to be a good one! As someone wise said,

“It is friends we meet along the way that help us appreciate the journey.”

That is certainly true with my friendship with Suzi. And I am forever grateful……