“Just” Lose That Narrative
One thing you may not know about me is that I had a double major in college - Elementary Education and English. I had to read a lot back in school. One author named George Orwell wrote a few works that stuck with me. That is his pen name, however. He is also known as Eric Arthur Blair. He was an English author, known for his novels 1984 and Animal Farm, both of which many of you probably read in school. He once wrote,
“If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”
I think what he means by this is, the more we use poor language, the poorer our thoughts become. I was reminded of this by a new friend a few days ago.
I am a social being. As a kid and young adult, I really enjoyed being part of something. I was involved in so many different clubs and sports….swimming, sailing, theater, track! If something looked interesting to me, I had no problems diving in head first to try it out. And I loved meeting new people!
As an adult, not much of that about me has changed. I thrive on being surrounded by a community. Which is why I am struggling in this just-about-a-year role that I find myself in! I have my own business. I work from home. And, I don’t have colleagues to bounce ideas off of, learn from, and chat with.
Which is why I was excited to meet my new friend, Lauren! We weren’t complete strangers. I learned about her through LinkedIn. She is an owner of her own coaching business so of course, I immediately became interested in what she had to say. She posts inspiring quotes and stories of her own life that resonate with me. I have enjoyed following her journey into motherhood and business ownership but have never actually talked to her in real life. Isn’t it funny how social media can make us feel connected even when we’re really not?
Anyway, I posted something on LinkedIn about Calm Education and Lauren liked it. Nothing about this was new. I’ve noticed that we alternately give each other positive feedback about each other’s posts through a “thumbs-up” or a “heart”. The difference in this feedback was that a mutual friend (who I actually know in real life!) noticed the connection and asked me how I knew Lauren. When I expressed that I didn’t really know her, the response was, “Do you want me to introduce you?” And of course, as the social being I am, I answered YES!
A few days later, I found myself enjoying a cup of coffee on a virtual sit down with Lauren. She initiated the meeting and I was delighted to meet her in “person”. We shared about our journeys into the roles we have taken on and the trials and tribulations of business ownership. But there was something really meaningful that I got from our conversation that I feel I need to share.
Lauren previously worked in the business world. She shared about her feelings of working in a world full of hustling and her uncertainty if this world was good for her well-being and that of her family. As an educator, I could completely relate! My response to her was something along the lines of, “I wasn’t like you. I was just a teacher. But I can relate to the feeling of uncertainty around a job that was starting to affect my well-being.”
In the most gentle and loving way, she stopped me in my tracks by saying, “I’ve heard you call yourself just a teacher a few times in this conversation. You need to change that narrative. My daughter’s teachers are part of my village and I need them. Teachers aren’t just anything.”
She was right and boy was I glad that she called me on that one! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. How many times have I said I am just a teacher? Just a mom? Just a beginner business owner? There is so much meaning behind that one little four letter j-word! It simplifies what I am. It downplays how I identify. It belittles what I do. And that is not OK.
I am sharing this story with you in the hopes that you can learn from my conversation with Lauren. Many of you out there are teachers and parents, like me! There is nothing simple about what it takes to step into those roles. You raise and mold the future. You welcome all types, inspire curiosity, resolve conflicts, scatter kindness, demonstrate problem solving, and lead from love (to name a few things…)! And you do this in times of chaos, excitement, and stress. You aren’t just part of the village. You ARE the village. And that is enough! You are enough!
Educators don’t always walk around in high powered suits. They don’t always drive fancy cars and never get to take long boozy lunches. They’re lucky to get 20 minutes to use the restroom and scarf down last night’s leftovers during their lunch break! There is nothing glamorous about teaching and being a caregiver. Society has created a narrative that to be enough, we have to have something to show for it. It is hard to quantitatively show our place in the village. Is that why we will say we are "just” something?
Catch yourself next time you hear yourself using that word and remind yourself that the inner critic is not invited to your village. Take a nice, deep breath and correct yourself. You aren’t just anything. Saying that word is using poor language and creating even poorer thoughts in your mind and those minds around you. You are amazing. You are important. You are needed. You are enough!
And thank you, Lauren, for that reminder. I am forever grateful and I can’t wait to see where our friendship goes!
