You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch!

At the moment, I am feeling pretty darn chagrined and embarrassed. I can’t believe I could be so foolish! I read about these things all the time….people that get suckered into some sort of scam. When I read the stories, I often think to myself, “Really? Why did you go and give all your personal information to someone over the phone??” There is so much out there that tells you NOT to do that….why do people still do it? I often feel for the elderly because they are the ones that are targeted most often. But nope….this time it was me.

On Sunday evening after Thanksgiving, Andrew and I were relaxing on the couch, watching a cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie. Andrew is so good to humor me with watching these! Sometimes I wonder if he actually enjoys these simple and predictable holiday romance flicks. Anyway, around 9pm, my mobile phone rang. When I checked the caller ID, I saw it was my bank, so I answered. The gentleman (more like “The Grinch”) on the other end of the phone explained that my bank account had been hacked through my mobile app. He went into details about the name of the person that did this, how much they took (over $700!), and even the type of phone that accessed my app. I immediately shared that I didn’t authorize this transaction. While on the phone, the man sent me an email that looked legit from my bank. Contained in the email was a link to click so I could regain control of my app again. I clicked the link and continued to hold on the phone for about a half hour, waiting for confirmation that my account was safe. However, we suddenly got disconnected. 

I called my bank back and spoke to someone else. They explained that the wait time to speak with anyone would be over 2 hours but he believed my account was hacked and the original phone call was fake. At first, I was in shock over this because I was actually talking on the exact phone number that called me in the first place. But he explained that hackers often impersonate phone numbers. The bank froze all my accounts and the man on the phone instructed me to call back when the wait time wasn’t so long.

The next morning, I woke up and spoke to someone else from my bank. They confirmed that the original phone call was fraudulent, but that she and her superior had never seen anything like it! I didn’t give out any personal information. I simply clicked on a link they gave me and while I was on hold, they proceeded to clear both my checking and my savings accounts! They did this all through mirroring my phone!

This very nice woman on the other end of the line walked me through resetting all of my accounts. When I was able to log back in, I saw that the thieves left me $2.07! How nice of them….just like the Grinch stealing all of my presents and holiday decorations, leaving me with a few scattered and broken ornaments that fell off my tree on their way out the door! I also learned that it could take up to 6 months before my fraud case is closed and the money is returned to me. I felt so stressed and embarrassed. How could I let someone do this? I had thoughts running through my mind like…

You’re so stupid.

Only morons do things like this.

The world is full of mean people.

I am never doing anything online or with my phone again.

How could you be such an idiot?

I felt deflated. I also felt violated and vulnerable. I thought back to the nice woman that I spoke with on the phone. When I expressed that I felt dumb that I let this happen, she took a moment to tell me that it wasn’t necessary for me to feel that way….that this type of theft is a new scam and even she had never seen it before. She soothed me by telling me, “don’t be too hard on yourself. This honestly could have happened to anyone. This is not your fault.” Her tone of voice and her words made me feel empowered and relieved. She was right…

I am not stupid.

Anyone could have made this mistake.

The world is full of mean people, but there are twice as many good people out there.

This mistake has made me that much more informed about doing things online and with my phone for the future.

How can I be even more smart about things like this moving forward?

And moving forward is exactly what I have to do. Sometimes, we come across situations in life that violate us, make us feel vulnerable, and even get us to blame ourselves over it! This person broke the law. This “grinch,” we’ll call him, stole from me. I am the victim. Since when are victims told that they are stupid, idiotic humans that deserve this kind of treatment because they asked for it? The woman I spoke with on the phone understood this and helped me see that I was not the problem in this situation. She simply reminded me that this is not my fault. It made me think about how many other times I blame myself for something that is out of my control and not my doing….

Now that I am sitting here thinking about it, there are plenty of times in which this happens. When someone does something unkind towards me, I often wonder, “did I do something wrong?” This bank fraud situation made me realize that I need to stop doing this….my hacked account had nothing to do with me. This grinch stole from me. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t invite them to steal from me. I trusted that this person had good intentions and he was there to help me. That’s what bad guys do….they prey on your trust.

Past Jenny may have lost a little bit of trust in herself and humanity, leaving scars. But present Jenny realizes that she can still trust. I just need to do it with my eyes a little more open. I need to remember that there are more “Whos” in this world than “Grinches” and that I can still trust that many people have good intentions out there. And one thing I need to stop doing is blaming myself for others’ betrayals.

To the man that made me trust him and believe that he was trying to save me from fraud while simultaneously stealing from me, I want to say, “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.” As Dr. Seuss says, 

“The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, Stank, Stunk!”

And while I know that my Grinch won’t return all the goods and I won’t invite him to my Christmas dinner, I do forgive him. Because forgiveness allows me to let go of the connection I have with this man that wronged me and move forward, with or without them! I will channel my inner Cindy Lou Who and not let this mishap wreck my holiday spirit!